I’m trying to figure out if I have an end goal. I’m starting to think that I don’t have one. Which is awesome because that means I’m enjoying the process and not putting too much stock in a one time goal (albeit, I’ll be stoked to have my student loans paid off).
I’ll have to exercise my whole life. I’m cool with that. Jogging is a habit. I’m working on making weight lifting another.
I hate shopping, but I like looking good, so I’m trying to curate a wardrobe that is full of timeless pieces that I can wear for as long as possible (I feel this may save me money also).
I hate the idea of dieting as something short term and miserable. A diet is what you eat. If I exercise to feel good, then I should eat to make my body feel good too. Binging on cake does not accomplish that goal.
I want to make the world around me better than it was before I got there. I’m trying to tie all my goals together.
I am incredibly blessed. I have a good job with health care. I was blessed with a healthy body and mind (let’s ignore the anxiety). I can’t change what I was given, but I can take care of it. And if I can get myself together enough, maybe I can help other people.
So what does money have to do with this? Money is an incredible tool. It can buy food and shelter. It can buy some modicum of safety (but let’s be frank, any of us could die at any second regardless of how careful we are). There are so many people that don’t have money, that don’t have that very useful tool. I am fighting to get control of it in my life as much as I can, but it’s amazing how quickly this tool can get used up. I’m an extremely cautious person (benefits of anxiety?) and I’m still overwhelmed by what life can throw at me. A flat tire can ruin your plans. A car accident. A disease. Things totally beyond your control. If my plan continues even to half of the amount I want, my standard of living will still be far above most of the world. I think I can get some semblance of control, but someday, I want to help people who weren’t given what I was given. I don’t want to forget this struggle and I don’t want to forget that I was blessed (this is not my ability and done by me alone).
-Smudged
Tag: thinking
Money Monday | Yard Sale
I really tried to be productive on Saturday. Saturday is normally my day of rest. But there was a community yard sale. So I tried to sell my things.
I am a terrible salesperson.
Admittedly, this was my first rodeo and I was unprepared.
The yard sale was from 8-12. It was cold. Not many people stopped by. Fewer bought things.
But! I drew the whole time (which was hard considering how cold I was).
I am happy that I practiced. I kind of wish it was a little more structured, buy I played with some lighting, so I’m satisfied with that.
I only made $10. 4 hours for $10. That’s $2.50 an hour. I don’t think it was worth it.
However, I had lots of time to think. I realized a few things.
- I struggle with selling things.
- I am afraid people will judge my goods.
- Pricing is REALLY hard.
- It is super nice to have things priced in advance.
I sometimes will do commissions. Not a lot, only upon request. But I always feel super guilty setting a price in the moment. I made a chart of what I think I should charge for different commissions (charcoal vs. paint, big vs. little) and I think it will give me the confidence to deal with that part of the conversation when it comes up again.
Look at me, saying when, not if. 🙂
-Smudged
Thinking Thursday
Today is Thinking Thursday so I’m going to talk about what’s on my mind today.
I was sitting on meetings today and yesterday, and as refreshing as it is to get away from my terrible desk, I’m not an active participant. I am a doodler. The less informative the meeting, the more advanced the doodles. It keeps me awake (which is more than I can say for everybody else). I was also feeling a little down because I haven’t posted what I would call my “good art.” The stuff of mine I genuinely like. Which, in a way, is more terrifying than posting junk. I know my junk is junk, I don’t care if other people agree with me. But posting my babies out into the world to be judged? That’s scary.
But that’s not what I want to talk about. I set out to draw a real human being the other day, which I posted. The drawings looked like a person, but not the person. I wasn’t using my preferred pencil and I was sketching with a purpose. But dangit, when I sketch with no purpose, mindlessly, I draw things I really like. (For example, the woman in the middle below).
I can do good work (in my opinion, until I learn more and realize it wasn’t as good as I thought) when I work really hard.
So my question for myself is, why do I like my bored sketches and my hard work but not the middle of the road stuff?
And honestly, I think I have an answer. Now that I’ve thought on it. When I work hard, I’m focused, I fix things. When I’m bored, I do a TON of sketches. Obviously, some are bound to be good. Some are bound to be mind-numbingly atrocious. But when I do middle of the road stuff, it’s like doing one semi-focused bored sketch. Which probably only gives me like a 50/50 shot of it being any good.
Such is life.
-Smudged
The Painted Spreadsheet 